Jakey will be 4 in about 2 weeks. He's still only 3 now, and today, boy, was he ever acting like a 3 year old. We went tobogganing, which was awesome fun. (I learned last year to wear snowpants to make it fun for me too). On the walk home, Jake was getting cranky. He cried if anyone walked ahead of him. But he was kinda slow, being just 3 and all. Nathan who is 6, and my nephew Nicholas who is 7, both couldn't help but walk faster. Plus I was cold, and I was pulling my niece Oliva, also 3, in the blue sled, and I wanted to walk faster too.
Finally, after all of us being screamed at by my tantrumy, over-tired Jake, I put my foot down.
"Jake," I knelt in front of him, "let's just get home. It doesn't matter who is first." More screaming. Neighbours looked to see how I was beating my child. I instructed everyone just to walk. There was no making Jake happy. Our aim was to get home. "Come on, Jake. Let's just walk. It doesn't matter who's first. Stop being so competitive!" And it dawned on me, that I am uber competitive, all the time. I'm an actor. I am competing at auditions for jobs. Are my vibes influencing my child into being a competitive weirdo?
And as we all walked beside Jake (it's not like we were leaving him behind), he yelled at me: "When we get home, you're getting a time out! You quit, Mom!" I almost fell in the snow. I had to laugh. My child was using my words against me. Do I really say to them "I quit"? I must.
So now, I am determined not to be competitive. Live in the world of the creative, where love and possibilities exist. And I promise never to yell "I quit" at my children. Because I don't want to make weirdos out of my kids. At least, in two weeks, he'll be a 4 year old weirdo.