Sunday, February 8, 2009

All the world's a petri dish

It’s been four years and two babies but I’m getting back on stage with my show. It’s a comedy, very Sex and The City, one woman, lots of lines, gotta look good, do a really good job, can’t phone it in show. I have 9 days until I go on, and my kids have been sick. I was going to spend all this extra time working on my lines, and of course, going to yoga every single day until the show to show the world “I still got it!” Ah, but I’ll be lucky if I shave my legs.
I guess it’s the weather. Or the fact that Nathan is in JK, and I’ve taken Jake to a couple of drop ins, and now both children have a fever. I haven’t been sleeping well, because I’m up with Jake. His nose is snotty and when he has trouble breathing he wakes up crying for me. So I slip myself into his bottom bunk and lay with him until he falls asleep. And then I spend a few torturous moments devising my escape- how to squeeze out of the bottom bunk without waking up either boy. And it just re-enforces my need to get to yoga. Sleek like a cat. Dave brought home some photos today. He took a roll of film out of his camera and wanted to see what was on it. Pictures from the summer. My birthday on the beach. I had quite the shock. I have a vision of me in my head- and what I must look like in a bikini. And then there’s the photos. I look like a nice barbeque chicken with a lot of extra meat. I’m not fat. I’m healthy. I’d be a good meal.
But back to my illustrious acting career. When Nathan was born, I was booking all my auditions. I think I walked into the audition room different from “before baby.” When I was just a regular person (ha!) I’d walk into that audition all ready and willing to please. When I became a new mom, I’d walk into that audition room with a real sense of purpose. Like “I have to go breast feed, did you want to hire me, yes or no?” It was like I flipped a switch, and became important, and had somewhere more important to be (with my newborn) and so everyone thought I was important too and wanted to hire me.
So, really, having children hasn’t stopped me from being a working mother. It has made me appreciate working more. Like a little vacation from my children. But I don’t want to have an understudy for my real role- as mommy. As I lay beside Jake and his snuffly nose, I realize that he is one of my greatest creations. He’s my audience. He’s my director. He’s my playwright. He’s my real work of art. And that snotty nose? Just a hack trying to crash an audition...