Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Take the "me" out of Bedtime!

Do you know where I am right now? I don’t want to tell you. I’m at a bar. It’s 6 30pm and I finished my corporate acting gig at 6, and instead of going home, I came here to a bar. And I’m drinking a beer. And I ordered a hamburger. Rare.
This is not like me. Listen, it’s not like the kids are home alone. Dave had to go to work for 5pm so we got the fabulous, amazing 25 year old babysitter to come for 4:30. And if I got home at 6 30, that would barely be worth her while. I want her to make a bit of money, so I figured I’d come here and write and get some me time. Okay, there’s a bigger reason. I want Maryjoy to put the kids to bed.
It takes soooooo long for me to put the kids to bed. Dave can do it in 30 minutes or less. A babysitter? They take one look at her and put themselves to bed. Me? It’s like a crime that they should be forced to sleep at all. It’s like I’m asking them to go to jail. Without a phone call. I’d like to take the "time" out of bedtime. And, actually, take the "me" out of it, too. 'Bedtime boys, say goodnight to me… me who is going downstairs to watch 30 Rock, finish the dishes (okay, we don’t have a dishwasher… yet.. what?!) and get at least two hours of doing whatever the hell I want and need to do'. But no. Bedtime with me and the boys starts at 7pm and ends somewhere between 10 and 10:30pm when they have finally given in and fallen asleep after about 2 hours of manipulating me from the bottom bunk to the top bunk to sleep beside one or the other.
I know I am an enabler. I was the one who had them in the bed when they were babies, respectively. And I am still the enabler, because I will lay down with Jake, then Nathan, then Jake, then Nathan, up and down the bunk like a servant. If they were my employers, I'd quit. Which I felt like I did tonight. I may be in a bar, but don’t think my Catholic guilt isn’t killing me. I might need another beer to keep me from going home before they have fallen asleep. Go Maryjoy!

Yummy Mummy Club

Another mom sent me the link to the yummy mummy club website. It's fabulous, has great contests, and is even publishing a funny article I wrote. (Okay, you may have read the same article here, but still!) Please join You'll love it!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Mommy Loves The Boys

So, I'm married with kids now. My Sex and The City lifestyle days are behind me. No more bad relationships with immature guys. Wait. Did I mention I have two sons? Did you know that my two year old Jake and my 4 year old Nathan aren't that different from some guys I've dated? It's so unfair, because I did the whole "please a man and lose myself" thing and I thought I learned from it. But here I am, repeating old, self-sabotaging patterns with my boys. Well, the first step is recognizing I have a problem. Er, problems…

Here’s one problem I have. I tend to give in to my boys, because I want them to like me. What? I know! I'm their mom! They'll like me even if I make them do chores every day of their life. But I'm such a sucker for a cute guy, I'm all "Alright, have another cookie" because I don't want to be the heavy. Then Nathan has too much sugar, then he crashes, then he’s miserable and cranky. And I’m reminded of the time I lent my Freud’s Interpretation of Dreams to that cute guy and never got the book back. That “I should have known better” feeling. Note to self number 1. Have a back bone, even if it means some guy won’t like it.

Here’s another problem: I tend to put them first all, all, all the time. I need to go to yoga. I must go to yoga. Nathan and Jake want me all the time. I tell them the sitter is coming so Mommy can go to yoga. They cry. I don't call the sitter. I don't go to yoga. I burn out. I yell at the kids. If they were my boyfriend, I'd break up with them. Note to self number 2. Put myself first. At least some of the time. Like at yoga time.

My worst problem: I tend to change myself for the man. Why do I do this? When I was dating and it never worked. I would morph into the supergirl I thought the guy wanted me to be. Which I couldn’t keep up for very long, so we’d break up. Now with my little guys, I love them so much, so I am this supermom who never says no. And then I can’t take it anymore and I snap. Things like sleeping beside Nathan until he falls asleep, which I am convinced makes him stay awake longer. It only makes me more anxious because I have things to do. Or my never ending nursing of Jake. If I left it up to him, he’d be weaned after graduation. No! Mommy has to go to yoga! Get your hands out of my shirt! I love you but I love me more! (Quote from Samantha in Sex and The City). So yes, I admit I’m still relationship challenged. But with a little bit of backbone, and a lot of yoga (which is all about strengthening the spine… I see the connection), I am sure I can keep the bad boys addiction behind me… and raise good boys who treat women really,really well.