Suddenly Mommy at The Fringe

Yup. I'm doing it again! The live show, Suddenly Mommy, that is. I'll be at The Toronto Fringe from July 2nd until 10th. My venue is The Dance Studio at The St. Alban's Boys' and Girls' Club which is located at 843 Palmerston Avenue, with the entrance off Vermont Ave. (Dupont and Bathurst area).

Show times are Fri, July 2nd, 2pm, Sat, July 3rd, 2pm and 4pm, Mon, July 5th, 8pm, Wed, July 7th, 8pm, Friday July 9th, 2pm and Sat July 10th at 2pm and 4pm.

What's it about? *Becoming a mother because you are supposed to. *Becoming a mom, quickly, without a plan. And you really need a plan. So coming up with a plan- fast. *A girl with no follow through becomes a mom- and finds out, with kids, you need follow through. So, in order to survive, she develops follow through. *Thinking that because I have kids, I can't do anything. And learning that because of my kids, I can do anything... cuz you gotta lead by example. * A story about a selfish actress who always plays low-status characters impetuously decides to become a mom, stepmom and wife, to everyone's surprise, and then disappears, only to reappear as a stronger, better, high status actress... and incredible mom.

I really hope you can come see it. I intend to change the world. xoxo AMS

Don't tell me I can't

I knew I wanted to be a famous movie star ever since I was 4. It's just taken me almost 40 years to get my sh*t together. I made mistakes. A lot of mistakes. For a long time. What can I say? It builds character! One thing I've learned is don't tell me I can't.

They can say I am too old, or not their ideal of a movie star, or the worst thing - A MOM- and I will simply say: Au contraire. I am right on track.

Sure, I spent waaay too long looking for love in all the wrong places. And sure I squandered opportunities which may have catapulted me to fame a decade ago, but I believe it was all part of the bigger picture. Now I don't have to fake knowing what it's like to be a mom when I go out for the mom roles. And Tina Fey and I are the same age. And we're both moms. So enough with the "it's too late" attitude. I'm finally coming into my own. Late bloomer, some might think. But what am I teaching my kids if I give up on my dreams? Crazy, glamourous, fun dreams... dreams I've had since I was 4.

SuperMoms, SuperStepMoms and SuperHumanGoals

So, are you as tired as I am? I have dreams, big dreams. And kids, cute kids. Really, can we please buy sleep by the bottle? If I use the philosophy of The Secret, which I truly love- I was driving to Hamilton by myself on Friday, lots of time (2 hours x 2) to listen to the 4 CD set of The Secret- then all I have to say is "I have plenty of time." So there: I'll say it. I have plenty of time. And my kids listen to me. And I'm a good mom. And I will make the world a better place because I care about being a good mom. A fabulously rich, gorgeous, sexy, surprisingly young looking, healthy, funny, famous mom. Who gets tons of sleep. Bottles and bottles of sleep. I have dreams, big dreams... xoxo AMS
ps I just found a web-group called SuperStepMoms in the Hamilton/Burlington area. I'll post their website on the side here...

pps- Suddenly Mommy is going to be in Hamilton! March 11th and March 13th at The Staircase! Come on out and eat, drink and laugh!

March 11th and March 13th in Hamilton Ontario!

Perfectly Norma Productions and The Staircase Presents
Suddenly Mommy!
She got married and had kids for the glamour and there is no glamour!
Written & Performed by Anne Marie SchefflerCanadian Comedy Award nominee, Second City Alumna, and star of her own comedy special on CTV/ The Comedy Network, Anne Marie Scheffler is back with her 7th one person show: Suddenly Mommy! Having her babies later in life, Scheffler demands answers from a world where she is no longer first! Like can I have the same goals I had before I had kids? How do the Hollywood moms do it? And when will I ever sleep again? Spoofing Celine Dion and Supernanny, Scheffler speaks the truth of the “Sex and The City turned Yummy Mommy” crowd: there’s not much time to put make-up on anymore! Recognizing that she is at bad at parenting as she was at dating, Scheffler refuses to repeat her relationship mistakes, so she finds a backbone. Not an easy thing to do when you are told to put everyone first, now that you’re a mom! “Anne Marie Scheffler didn't think motherhood would be this hard. She thought she could be the sexy showbiz mom, with a baby in one arm, a movie script in the other. Her jarring realization otherwise makes for a humorous and entertaining show. Scheffler is a charismatic, sparkling performer.”- CBC ReviewThe Staircase Theatre27 Dundurn Street North, Hamilton OntarioThursday March 11th , 8 PMSaturday March 13th , 8 PM$15/ ticket.info@staircase.org or905-529-3000 for ticketsTwo shows only! Book the babysitter now!!!!

February 27th and February 28th

I love being a mom so much. I love my little sons, who are batman and spiderman crazy and need me to rock them and read them betime stories.

I love my step-daughter and buying things for her, and finding girlie things for her to wear.

I love my husband, and this domestic life we've created. It's nice to have a family and do family things.

So why am I doing a show instead of staying home and cuddling with my kids? Because parenting did not come naturally to me. And I approached it in my same "give-myself-away" method that I used when dating. Then, I spent a long time, as a single woman, realizing that I had to have a back bone and love myself before I could have a solid romantic relationship. And now, as a mom, with my sons, I see myself repeating mistakes. I have spent the last 5 years finding that same back bone again, and loving myself well again. Because if I'm really me, I'm a better mom.

That's why I'm doing my show. I have something to say. I feel this show will be as powerful as Not Getting It. I'm looking forward to seeing you at The Candy Box! xoxo AMS

Mommy Wants Candy

Did you know that there's a new theatre in town? The John Candy Box Theatre, a part of Second City. I will be performing Suddenly Mommy there on Saturday February 27th at 8pm! And the next day too! (At Theatre Passe Muraille Backspace, Sunday Feb 28th, 2pm). What can I say? It's a mini run. If you missed the show before, here's your chance!

I've been home with Jake for the last 2 days because he's had a fever and a cough. I know he'd be okay in daycare tomorrow but I'm just enjoying babying the heck out of him. He turned 3 on Tuesday. We went to Chuck E Cheese on the weekend. He's been wandering around saying "I'm the birthday star." My kids are going to be confident if nothing else. Delusional and confident. And today he's been saying "I'm a girl- you not a girl. You a boy." Cute. Don't know what that's all about but he's just cute, so whatever.

Which reminds me, we got a Wii for Christmas from my in-laws. Really, it's for my husband. But the kids like it too. When we play the car racing game, a CGI blonde comes out and waves a flag to start the race. I've trained Jake to point at that girl in her Daisy Dukes and hot pink halter and say "That's you Mommy!" Yes it is Jake. Yes it is. Cute and delusional: Jake's mommy that is. See you at The Candy Box. xoxo AMS
ps: for tickets to Suddenly Mommy on Feb 27th and February 28th: http://www.artsboxoffice.ca/ or call 416.504.7529

Juggling my children

I was talking to my husband this evening as we drove home from my sister's place. The boys were in their car seats blathering away about who was Batman and who was Spiderman. Me, thinking that no one under 5 was listening to me, began to talk about the CBC interview I had done today. (For the upcoming show at Second City! Dec 20th, 2pm, please come!) I said something like "and I was describing the show about juggling my kids and career." Well, of course, Nathan picked up on it. "Mommy! You just said you are juggling your kids! You're not juggling me and Jakey!" Now I know what my next poster or book cover will be...