Parenting and The Secret

My husband gave me hell yesterday. Yesterday morning my six year old said he wanted an ipad and I said "sure!" Because I'm all about abundance you see. I've read The Secret. Dave (my husband... who gave me The Secret but did not read it. Men.) was irritated: "Mommy. (We call each other Mommy and Daddy... I know that seems old fashioned but I came from 20 year of dating players unsuccessfully or successfully if quantity is the measure of achievement- and I dove into my role of Mommy for all the bells and whistles- only. As in I like the idea of being a mother: being called Mommy. The reality... another story). Anyhoops, Dave is all "Mommy. Please don't tell this one you are getting him an ipad if you're not. I picked him up at daycare and he's jumping around saying "Mommy's getting me an ipad" and I have to be the one to burst his bubble." I flush red. I'm not not getting him an ipad. I am allowed to say that. "But I am getting Jakey an ipad. Sometime." Jake, who is standing there, doesn't know if he should cry or be excited. We are definitely giving these kids an emotional workout, at the very least. "Well, Jake thought you meant today. So, be careful about your empty promises." Argh. I don't make empty promises. I do the opposite of what my parents did: I give hope. Yes yes yes to everything. If Jake wants an ipad, let's get him an ipad. It's an Abundant Universe, right? Anyone? Apparently, you have to give the kids some sort of hard answers and solid expectations so I guess that's why Dave and I are married: we balance each other out and the kids are going to turn out alright. But I know I was raised in a household with one income and four kids and everything was a budget line item. There were no extras. So I am determined to have extras for my kids. Because I have my own ways of making money. And my own credit cards. And I've read The Secret. I'm visualizing cheques in the mail right now, thank you very much. Look, I'd rather say to Jakey "Sure! Let's get you an ipad! Let's look at what it costs online. Let's save your allowance. Let's find out if it's on sale. Let's believe it is possible... Let's call Gramma." than "no." I'm not so good with no. My own childhood issues to be sure. So... maybe I am a bad mom making empty promises. Or maybe I am a good improvisor, "Yes, and..." My Second City days at work. Look things are changing in our world and that is certain. And one thing that I can tell you for sure that is different is that some parents these days (okay me, at least) might not be so quick with the word no. Let's see if Jakey turns out to be a selfish white man. Or a limitless creator. Or a guy with issues because his mother gave him empty promises. I guess I have an ipad to get now... xoxo AMS

Suddenly Mommy is coming to Richmond Hill!

Los Angeles was fabulous! And now Suddenly Mommy is coming to Richmond Hill Performing Arts Centre on March 28th! So excited! Click here for more info and tickets!

Suddenly Mommy video: Celine Dion - The Inspiration

Get some mommy advice from Celine Dion about how to have miracle babies, be a superstar and have it all!!!!!

Don't miss "Suddenly Mommy" - the hilarious mother of a comedy by Anne Marie Scheffler
Every woman who’s had a baby recognizes the moment when your name changes from "Hey, Sexy" to suddenly "Mommy"! Anne Marie Scheffler, the star of Second City and her own special on The Comedy Network, presents this hilarious and relatable one-woman show on motherhood fresh from Second City Hollywood and Theatre Row in New York City.
http://suddenlymommy.com/watch-webisodes?video=22

Suddenly Mommy video: Janet - The Soccer Mom

Get some mommy advice from Janet, the kind of competitive mother who believes that there is nothing more important than raising winners!

Don't miss "Suddenly Mommy" - the hilarious mother of a comedy by Anne Marie Scheffler
Every woman who’s had a baby recognizes the moment when your name changes from "Hey, Sexy" to suddenly "Mommy"! Anne Marie Scheffler, the star of Second City and her own special on The Comedy Network, presents this hilarious and relatable one-woman show on motherhood fresh from Second City Hollywood and Theatre Row in New York City.
http://suddenlymommy.com/watch-webisodes?video=19

The "I'm in love with a rock star" commercial

I got the boys to school today, and when I came home I was picking up my five year old's socks knotted into a ball, smiling about how he was walking around yesterday with his arm shoved through the middle of the sock ball saying "do you like my watch?" Freaking cute. I can't make this stuff up. And then I thought about how much I love them at this age (5 and 8) and they'll get bigger, but right now, I can smother them with kisses and they still let me. And that I am in love with them. Yes, in love. I tell them so all the time.

I'm fricking in love with them. I'm like a groupie. I'll do anything for them. Which isn't the best parenting plan, so I resist buying them $60 worth of pokemon cards at the comic book store in our neighbourhood "just because". Okay, I try to resist. Okay I dropped $60 on each of them, $120 total, because I am a sucker for their love. But I'm working on it. But I digress...

I saw a Playskool commercial last night. A mom says "I'm in love with a rock star" and then of course, it's her young son playing the playskool rock and roll kit or something. Cute. And my initial reaction was "hey, she stole my line!" And then "good for Playskool" because it's about time we use the term "in love" with our children. As long as it doesn't get all Mackenzie Phillips...

I love Shakti Gawain. Do you know her? Living in The Light and Creative Visualization are books that I live my life by. She says, and I quote: "Falling in love is actually a powerful experience of feeling the universe move through you. The other person has become a channel for you, a catalyst that triggers you to open up to the love, beauty and passion within you. Your own channel opens wide, the universal energy comes pouring through, and you have a blissful moment of "enlightenment" very similar to the experience some people have after long periods of meditation."

So, I'll say it, I'm in love with my children. And rock on, Playskool. Telling it like it is. xoxo AMS

Who Says A Mom Can't?

My friend Shelley who lives up in the beautiful remoteness called me today. She and her husband are ready to sell their home and move somewhere more urban. Sudbury. Well, it's a start. She's wanted to do something for herself- like the move- for a while, but she couldn't because she has a son and like a good mom, for fifteen years, he has been the priority. So, now that the precarious life of a child has reached teenagehood, it's going to be okay to move him. He's perfectly wonderful and healthy and smart by the way.  (Meanwhile, I'm getting ready to move my family from Toronto to LA, as soon as possible, or at least before my sons are old enough to have girlfriends they can't bear to leave behind. Or hockey teams that will buckle and fold without them).

Then Shelley mentioned a mutual friend, Karen, who has two little kids. Karen is drop dead gorgeous, has a famous relative who is a movie star in LA, and was on her way to LA herself when she became pregnant. Six years later, she's almost got the youngest in school and has begun shopping for agents and working with acting coaches again. I'm so excited for her and have been encouraging her. Then Shelley drops this on me. "Did you hear Karen's pregnant again?" "No!" Is my reaction. Shelley confirms that Karen is not happy about it. "But Karen was going to start acting again,"I protest, "and get her career back." "What career?" was Shelley's less than supportive response. And then Shelley goes on about how nice it will be for Karen to have three little kids running around in the house, as if that would be every mother's proper attitude. In my silence, Shelley brings up my situation and questions the LA move because she knows it's really what I want, and an inconvenience to everyone else in the family. At which point I don't feel like talking to Shelley anymore. Now Karen, I want to talk to desperately, and soothe her over, yes, a pregnancy.

Counter-intuitive? Sad for the happy news of another baby? Less than impressed with a woman who didn't do what she's wanted to do for fifteen years because she was "being a good mom"? And not feeling wrong about living my true life, despite the fact that I am a mother and wife and step-mom. Yes. Shelley might perceive me as a bad mother because I still have career aspirations and life goals, but as Elizabeth Gilbert quotes in Eat, Pray, Love from the Bhagavad Gita- (run on sentence anyone?)- "it's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perefection."

I really hope Karen gets a huge part in a movie soon- the part of a pregnant woman. And I really wished I had responding to Shelley's question "What career?" with "Karen's career." Who says a mom can't? Well, obviously lots of people. But the flip side is: who says a mom can? The mom. And Karen can. And I'm going to call her and remind her of that.

Suddenly Mommy at Rose Studio Theatre: November 15-16 at 8:00 pm

Every woman who’s had a baby recognizes the moment when your name changes from "Hey, Sexy" to suddenly "Mommy"! Anne Marie Scheffler, the star of Second City and her own special on The Comedy Network, presents this hilarious and relatable one-woman show fresh from Second City Hollywood and Theatre Row in New York City.

"Anne-Marie Scheffler didn't think motherhood would be this hard... her jarring realization otherwise makes for a humorous and entertaining show." - CBC

Click here for more info and tickets