Suddenly Mommy

Suddenly Mommy in Sudbury! Friday Nov 4th!

2011-11-02T13:54:00.000-07:00

For tickets: http://suddenlysudbury.eventbrite.com

2 shows at Second City Hollywood

2011-10-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

If you think Halloween is scary... try Motherhood! The screaming! The shrieking! Behaving like a monster! And the kids are pretty bad too! So, grab your favourite zombie and howl the night away with the montrously talented Anne Marie Scheffler in Suddenly Mommy! at The Second City Hollywood, Tuesday Oct 25th and Thursday Oct 27th, 7pm shows. A funny, one-mommy comedy about having it all!

2 shows only:Tues Oct 25th 7pm & Thurs Oct 27th, 7pm

Canadian Comedy Award nominee, Second City Alumna, and star of her own comedy special on CTV/ The Comedy Network, Anne Marie Scheffler is back with her 7th one person show! Suddenly Mommy! is a one-mommy comedy about having it all, whatever that means!

“Anne Marie Scheffler didn't think motherhood would be this hard. She thought she could be the sexy showbiz mom, with a baby in one arm, a movie script in the other. Her jarring realization otherwise makes for a humorous and entertaining show. Scheffler is a charismatic, sparkling performer.” - CBC Review

“Poignant, hilarious, heart-breaking, and an all-together amazing journey.”- Hadley Kay

Suddenly Mommy!
written & performed by
Anne Marie Scheffler
at Second City Hollywood
6560 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90028

Tickets $10. Buy tickets at the door, online at http://www.secondcity.com/performances/hollywood/nowplaying/
or call 323-464-1861

For industry tickets, please contact Wendy Zocks at
310-231-0444 wendy@wendyzockspr.com

Look forward to seeing you and the rest of the undead there! xoxo AMS

Toronto: Sept 26 to Oct 9, 2011

2011-09-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

Book tickets online and save $5! Click: http://www.ticketweb.ca/snl/Search.action?query=suddenly+mommy+online

Suddenly Mommy!
written & performed by
Anne Marie Scheffler at
The Red Sandcastle Theatre
922 Queen Street East, Toronto

Tickets $20 in advance/ $25 door
book online:
http://www.ticketweb.ca/snl/Search.action?query=suddenly+mommy+online
or call 416 845-9411
for reservations and group discounts

Mon, September 26th- 8pm
Tues, September 27th- 8pm
Wed, September 28th- 8pm

Thurs, September 29th- 2pm*

Fri, September 30th- 2pm*

Sat, October 1st- 8pm

Sun, October 2nd- 2pm

Tues, October 4th- 8pm
Wed, October 5th- 8pm
Thurs, October 6th- 8pm
Fri, October 7th- 8pm
Sat, October 8th- 8pm
Sun, October 9th- 2pm *Stroller friendly weekday matinees

Canadian Comedy Award nominee, Second City Alumnae, and star of her own comedy special on CTV/ The Comedy Network, Anne Marie Scheffler is back with her 7th one person show! Suddenly Mommy! is a comedy about a self-confessed bad mom. Our ill-prepared heroine falls for a single dad; they get pregnant, they get married and before you know it, she is a step-mom, a mom of two little boys of her own, and a very desperate housewife. She is the people pleaser who worked for decades to come into her own, only to lose herself to her children. Overtired but inspired by role models such as Celine Dion and her own mother, Anne Marie redefines the role of motherhood, in order to have it all, whatever that means!

“Anne Marie Scheffler didn't think motherhood would be this hard. She thought she could be the sexy showbiz mom, with a baby in one arm, a movie script in the other. Her jarring realization otherwise makes for a humorous and entertaining show. Scheffler is a charismatic, sparkling performer.” - CBC

“Poignant, hilarious, heart-breaking, and an all-together amazing journey.”- Hadley Kay

Suddenly Mommy! in Toronto and New York, Fall 2011!

2011-09-08T21:38:00.000-07:00

Suddenly Mommy!
written & performed
by Anne Marie Scheffler
at The Red Sandcastle Theatre,
922 Queen Street East, Toronto
(at Logan)
Tickets $20 in advance/ $25 door

book online at http://www.totix.ca/
or call 416 845-9411
for reservations and group discounts

Mon, September 26th- 8pm Tues, October 4th- 8pm

Tues, September 27th- 8pm Wed, October 5th- 8pm

Wed, September 28th- 8pm                     Thurs, October 6th- 8pm
Thurs, September 29th- 2pm*                  Fri, October 7th- 8pm
Fri, September 30th- 2pm*                       Sat, October 8th- 8pm
Sat, October 1st- 8pm                              Sun, October 9th- 2pm
Sun, October 2nd- 2pm            *Stroller friendly weekday matinees

Red SandcastleTheatre, Artistic Director- Rosemary Doyle

Anything is possible! http://www.redsandcastletheatre.com/

SUDDENLY MOMMY!
Canadian Comedy Award nominee, Second City Alumnae, and star of her own comedy special on CTV/ The Comedy Network, Anne Marie Scheffler is back with her 7th one person show!

Suddenly Mommy! is a comedy about a self-confessed bad mom. Our ill-prepared heroine falls for a single dad; they get pregnant, they get married and before you know it, she is a step-mom, a mom of two little boys of her own, and a very desperate housewife. She is the people pleaser who worked for decades to come into her own, only to lose herself to her children. Overtired but inspired by role models such as Celine Dion and her own mother, Anne Marie redefines the role of motherhood, in order to have it all, whatever that means!

“Anne Marie Scheffler didn't think motherhood would be this hard. She thought she could be the sexy showbiz mom, with a baby in one arm, a movie script in the other. Her jarring realization otherwise makes for a humorous and entertaining show. Scheffler is a charismatic, sparkling performer.” - CBC

“Poignant, hilarious, heart-breaking, and an all-together amazing journey.”- Hadley Kay

ANNE MARIE INVITED TO PERFORM
SUDDENLY MOMMY IN NEW YORK CITY
THIS NOVEMBER!
Wednesday, November 9th, 2011, 7:30pm. $18

UNITED SOLO THEATRE FESTIVAL
At Theatre ROW,
410 42nd Street
New York, New York 10036
www.theatrerow.com
www.unitedsolo.org

high-resolution photos available for downloading

2011-09-02T13:25:00.000-07:00

I Want Somebody to Fight With Me...

2011-07-04T09:17:00.000-07:00

Jake, the 4 year old, is trying to amuse himself, while I get stuff done on the computer (paying credit card bills). My step-daughter, my other son and Jake are home. Summer vacation. Oh, how I miss daycare and school already. But I've got the 12 year old step-daughter in charge of making lunch. For a fee. She's earning money. If only she took VISA.

Jakey found two mini pool cues and wants somebody to fight with him. I've got the family finances on-line and can't be distracted. Wouldn't want to over pay Mastercard. "I want somebody to fight with me," he moans. "Go upstairs and fight with Nathan," I tell him. "He's very good at fighting."

"No!" says Jake. "I want you to fight with me! I want somebody sucky!" Nice.

Suddenly Mommy! in Sudbury, June 23rd, 2011!

2011-06-04T10:52:00.000-07:00

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

Thursday June 23rd @ 8pm

Little Montreal (on Elgin St)

$25 each ticket

For advance tickets call Claudia 705-665-4127
or drop by Little Montreal and get your tickets ahead of time. Tickets also will be available at the door on the night of the show.

Reviews from Suddenly Mommy

2011-05-27T11:14:00.000-07:00

"Wonderful show! Anne Marie Scheffler was a revelation! She was hilarious and the show itself was brilliantly written. I'm going to keep an eye out for her. Would love to see her perform again!"
-House Seats Guest

"It’s been a LONG time since I had such a great night in the theatre. I know it sounds like a cliché, but I actually laughed until I cried at more than one point. I’ve always loved your comedy and thought your timing was impeccable, but tonight your wit was matched my your astounding insight. I LOVED IT." Rob Corbett

Limited run! Get tickets online!

2011-04-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

Suddenly Mommy!
She became a mom for the glamour...
Written & Performed by
Anne Marie Scheffler
Directed by
Debbie Tidy

The Theatre Centre1087 Queen Street West (at Dovercourt)
May 16th to 22nd
Monday to Sunday, 8pm shows. Sunday 2pm matinee

$20 in advance
$25 at the door

To purchase tickets, click below:

http://www.ticketweb.ca/snl/Search.action?query=suddenly+mommy

Toronto Teacher Mom says:

2011-02-04T15:24:00.000-08:00

"I would recommend Suddenly Mommy! to any parent looking for a fun night out sans enfants. With tickets purchased in advance costing as little as $20, it is well worth the trip out to The Theatre Centre. And with the venue being small and intimate, every seat is a good seat. You almost feel like you're a part of the show. So grab your fellow moms and their husbands and head out for a comedy-filled night that's perfect for moms and dads alike."

"You Quit, Mom!"

2011-01-08T20:55:00.000-08:00

Jakey will be 4 in about 2 weeks. He's still only 3 now, and today, boy, was he ever acting like a 3 year old. We went tobogganing, which was awesome fun. (I learned last year to wear snowpants to make it fun for me too). On the walk home, Jake was getting cranky. He cried if anyone walked ahead of him. But he was kinda slow, being just 3 and all. Nathan who is 6, and my nephew Nicholas who is 7, both couldn't help but walk faster. Plus I was cold, and I was pulling my niece Oliva, also 3, in the blue sled, and I wanted to walk faster too.

Finally, after all of us being screamed at by my tantrumy, over-tired Jake, I put my foot down.
"Jake," I knelt in front of him, "let's just get home. It doesn't matter who is first." More screaming. Neighbours looked to see how I was beating my child. I instructed everyone just to walk. There was no making Jake happy. Our aim was to get home. "Come on, Jake. Let's just walk. It doesn't matter who's first. Stop being so competitive!" And it dawned on me, that I am uber competitive, all the time. I'm an actor. I am competing at auditions for jobs. Are my vibes influencing my child into being a competitive weirdo?

And as we all walked beside Jake (it's not like we were leaving him behind), he yelled at me: "When we get home, you're getting a time out! You quit, Mom!" I almost fell in the snow. I had to laugh. My child was using my words against me. Do I really say to them "I quit"? I must.

So now, I am determined not to be competitive. Live in the world of the creative, where love and possibilities exist. And I promise never to yell "I quit" at my children. Because I don't want to make weirdos out of my kids. At least, in two weeks, he'll be a 4 year old weirdo.

A Big Case of Holiday Whine

2010-12-26T21:55:00.000-08:00

Tonight we came home at 10pm. Cuz we were having a holiday visit with family at my brother's house. Lots fun, noise, booze (well, not for me, cuz I was driving) and getting kids to bed late. Jake, 3, was fast asleep by the time we got home. Nathan, 6, was still awake, but tired. Dave carried Jakey into the house, while I walked with Nathan. "Mommy, you...whine whine whine whine whine.." Is all I heard. "What Nathan? Speak up, Sweetheart." Then some more whining, Then more of my "what? I can't hear you? What is it?" Finally, we get inside and I'm doing what I can to get Nathan into bed. More whining. I get that he wants his pajamas from the car. Jake's already tucked in bed, sleeping soundly, so Dave goes to get Nathan's pajamas. So much for unpacking the car tomorrow morning. Me and Nathan wait. More whining. I still can't figure him out. I ask if he'd like me to rock him in the rocking chair. No, that just gets him annoyed. I guess because I haven't gotten what he's trying to tell me. Fine. I will walk away so I don't get all snippy with him. I fill the humidifier tank under the tap in the bathtub. The water runs loudly. I faintly hear Nathan whining. This is getting crazy. Finish filling the water, stand quickly, hit my head on the corner of the bathroom cabinet. Now I lose my composure. "Nathan! If you want to speak to me, come into the room I am in! Do not whine in your room, expecting me to hear you! I could not hear you over the water running! What do you want to say?!" And I think I'm giving you the very nice version of this story. With tears in his eyes, a very tired Nathan says "I said: I remember what I was trying to tell you when we were coming into the house. I said you're the best mom in the world." Doesn't it just figure?

Dec 24th Morning

2010-12-24T08:34:00.000-08:00

We woke up at 7:38am this morning: the boys wanted their presents. I told them they were going to get Mom and Dad presents this morning, and Santa presents on Christmas morning, at Gramma and Grandpa's, and then more presents at Gramma and Poppa's on December 27th. Such a schedule!

Wel, I'm still smiling from the present opening this morning. Our little family. Housecoats, hotwheels, backugans, chocolate, dvd's and placemats. Then, at 9am, I went back to bed for an hour. Another gift to my family. xoxo AMS
ps Merry Christmas and warm feelings of love to you and yours.

I Just Want to Email My Grade Oner

2010-11-09T20:36:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's late. Kids are sleeping, husband is driving back from dropping of my step-daughter at her mom's, and I should be going to bed soon. But I'm waiting for the dryer to stop so I can fold small socks and undies and favourite shirts and pants so getting dressed tomorrow morning will be trauma-free. ("Where's my Star Wars shirt? In the laundry? Nooo! Why didn't you wash it when I was sleeping?!")

But of course, I'm checking my email. And I see the facebook invite for Andy and Gabi's Winter Solstice in Kensington Market on Dec 21st. I email it to my husband and say "Let's go to this." And then I instinctively want to email it to Nathan. He's 6 now. He's got this personality now. He's interesting and funny. I like him. And I want him to know how fun it would be to go to the Solstice. But he's without an email address...
I'll have to work the solstice plans into a cuddle.

Suddenly Parry Sound

2010-11-03T07:49:00.000-07:00

Just back from doing an excerpt of Suddenly Mommy in Parry Sound in the prestigious Stockey Centre. My dressing room was incredible: easy chair and foot stool, shower, bathroom, cot and vanity area complete with a mirror with lights all the way around it. I opened up the cot and lay down. If I had a towel I would have taken a shower. My performance was fabulous... but the dressing room... ah, the dressing room...

Suddenly Mommy at The Fringe

2010-06-20T18:21:00.001-07:00

Yup. I'm doing it again! The live show, Suddenly Mommy, that is. I'll be at The Toronto Fringe from July 2nd until 10th. My venue is The Dance Studio at The St. Alban's Boys' and Girls' Club which is located at 843 Palmerston Avenue, with the entrance off Vermont Ave. (Dupont and Bathurst area).

Show times are Fri, July 2nd, 2pm, Sat, July 3rd, 2pm and 4pm, Mon, July 5th, 8pm, Wed, July 7th, 8pm, Friday July 9th, 2pm and Sat July 10th at 2pm and 4pm.

What's it about? *Becoming a mother because you are supposed to. *Becoming a mom, quickly, without a plan. And you really need a plan. So coming up with a plan- fast. *A girl with no follow through becomes a mom- and finds out, with kids, you need follow through. So, in order to survive, she develops follow through. *Thinking that because I have kids, I can't do anything. And learning that because of my kids, I can do anything... cuz you gotta lead by example. * A story about a selfish actress who always plays low-status characters impetuously decides to become a mom, stepmom and wife, to everyone's surprise, and then disappears, only to reappear as a stronger, better, high status actress... and incredible mom.

I really hope you can come see it. I intend to change the world. xoxo AMS

Don't tell me I can't

2010-05-24T19:08:00.000-07:00

I knew I wanted to be a famous movie star ever since I was 4. It's just taken me almost 40 years to get my sh*t together. I made mistakes. A lot of mistakes. For a long time. What can I say? It builds character! One thing I've learned is don't tell me I can't.

They can say I am too old, or not their ideal of a movie star, or the worst thing - A MOM- and I will simply say: Au contraire. I am right on track.

Sure, I spent waaay too long looking for love in all the wrong places. And sure I squandered opportunities which may have catapulted me to fame a decade ago, but I believe it was all part of the bigger picture. Now I don't have to fake knowing what it's like to be a mom when I go out for the mom roles. And Tina Fey and I are the same age. And we're both moms. So enough with the "it's too late" attitude. I'm finally coming into my own. Late bloomer, some might think. But what am I teaching my kids if I give up on my dreams? Crazy, glamourous, fun dreams... dreams I've had since I was 4.

SuperMoms, SuperStepMoms and SuperHumanGoals

2010-03-06T19:27:00.000-08:00

So, are you as tired as I am? I have dreams, big dreams. And kids, cute kids. Really, can we please buy sleep by the bottle? If I use the philosophy of The Secret, which I truly love- I was driving to Hamilton by myself on Friday, lots of time (2 hours x 2) to listen to the 4 CD set of The Secret- then all I have to say is "I have plenty of time." So there: I'll say it. I have plenty of time. And my kids listen to me. And I'm a good mom. And I will make the world a better place because I care about being a good mom. A fabulously rich, gorgeous, sexy, surprisingly young looking, healthy, funny, famous mom. Who gets tons of sleep. Bottles and bottles of sleep. I have dreams, big dreams... xoxo AMS
ps I just found a web-group called SuperStepMoms in the Hamilton/Burlington area. I'll post their website on the side here...

pps- Suddenly Mommy is going to be in Hamilton! March 11th and March 13th at The Staircase! Come on out and eat, drink and laugh!

March 11th and March 13th in Hamilton Ontario!

2010-03-06T19:23:00.001-08:00

Perfectly Norma Productions and The Staircase Presents
Suddenly Mommy!
She got married and had kids for the glamour and there is no glamour!
Written & Performed by Anne Marie SchefflerCanadian Comedy Award nominee, Second City Alumna, and star of her own comedy special on CTV/ The Comedy Network, Anne Marie Scheffler is back with her 7th one person show: Suddenly Mommy! Having her babies later in life, Scheffler demands answers from a world where she is no longer first! Like can I have the same goals I had before I had kids? How do the Hollywood moms do it? And when will I ever sleep again? Spoofing Celine Dion and Supernanny, Scheffler speaks the truth of the “Sex and The City turned Yummy Mommy” crowd: there’s not much time to put make-up on anymore! Recognizing that she is at bad at parenting as she was at dating, Scheffler refuses to repeat her relationship mistakes, so she finds a backbone. Not an easy thing to do when you are told to put everyone first, now that you’re a mom! “Anne Marie Scheffler didn't think motherhood would be this hard. She thought she could be the sexy showbiz mom, with a baby in one arm, a movie script in the other. Her jarring realization otherwise makes for a humorous and entertaining show. Scheffler is a charismatic, sparkling performer.”- CBC ReviewThe Staircase Theatre27 Dundurn Street North, Hamilton OntarioThursday March 11th , 8 PMSaturday March 13th , 8 PM$15/ ticket.info@staircase.org or905-529-3000 for ticketsTwo shows only! Book the babysitter now!!!!

February 27th and February 28th

2010-01-24T18:49:00.000-08:00

I love being a mom so much. I love my little sons, who are batman and spiderman crazy and need me to rock them and read them betime stories.

I love my step-daughter and buying things for her, and finding girlie things for her to wear.

I love my husband, and this domestic life we've created. It's nice to have a family and do family things.

So why am I doing a show instead of staying home and cuddling with my kids? Because parenting did not come naturally to me. And I approached it in my same "give-myself-away" method that I used when dating. Then, I spent a long time, as a single woman, realizing that I had to have a back bone and love myself before I could have a solid romantic relationship. And now, as a mom, with my sons, I see myself repeating mistakes. I have spent the last 5 years finding that same back bone again, and loving myself well again. Because if I'm really me, I'm a better mom.

That's why I'm doing my show. I have something to say. I feel this show will be as powerful as Not Getting It. I'm looking forward to seeing you at The Candy Box! xoxo AMS

Mommy Wants Candy

2010-01-21T10:54:00.000-08:00

Did you know that there's a new theatre in town? The John Candy Box Theatre, a part of Second City. I will be performing Suddenly Mommy there on Saturday February 27th at 8pm! And the next day too! (At Theatre Passe Muraille Backspace, Sunday Feb 28th, 2pm). What can I say? It's a mini run. If you missed the show before, here's your chance!

I've been home with Jake for the last 2 days because he's had a fever and a cough. I know he'd be okay in daycare tomorrow but I'm just enjoying babying the heck out of him. He turned 3 on Tuesday. We went to Chuck E Cheese on the weekend. He's been wandering around saying "I'm the birthday star." My kids are going to be confident if nothing else. Delusional and confident. And today he's been saying "I'm a girl- you not a girl. You a boy." Cute. Don't know what that's all about but he's just cute, so whatever.

Which reminds me, we got a Wii for Christmas from my in-laws. Really, it's for my husband. But the kids like it too. When we play the car racing game, a CGI blonde comes out and waves a flag to start the race. I've trained Jake to point at that girl in her Daisy Dukes and hot pink halter and say "That's you Mommy!" Yes it is Jake. Yes it is. Cute and delusional: Jake's mommy that is. See you at The Candy Box. xoxo AMS
ps: for tickets to Suddenly Mommy on Feb 27th and February 28th: http://www.artsboxoffice.ca/ or call 416.504.7529

Juggling my children

2009-12-13T20:38:00.000-08:00

I was talking to my husband this evening as we drove home from my sister's place. The boys were in their car seats blathering away about who was Batman and who was Spiderman. Me, thinking that no one under 5 was listening to me, began to talk about the CBC interview I had done today. (For the upcoming show at Second City! Dec 20th, 2pm, please come!) I said something like "and I was describing the show about juggling my kids and career." Well, of course, Nathan picked up on it. "Mommy! You just said you are juggling your kids! You're not juggling me and Jakey!" Now I know what my next poster or book cover will be...

Suddenly Mommy at The Second City Sunday Dec 20th

2009-12-01T20:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's late and I should be going to sleep, but I need to give you the low-down, you know, before it's morning, and the kids are up, and I get too busy again.

Here's the thing. The Children's Storefront burned down on Oct 31st. It was the original mommy-baby drop in. It opened 35 years ago, to help mommies and daddies, and babies. You know, a drop in. A place to go. Especially in the winter. And now we have drop ins every where. And I swear it's all thanks to Roona Maloney and The Children's Storefront.

So, when I heard the tragic news, first I cried. Then I emailed Roona and asked if I could do my mommy show for her. And when she said "I'd love it!" I went about finding a venue. So I asked Andrew Alexander at Second City who said "Of course!" and then I asked for posters and postcards and Industry Images said "we'd love to!"

So, in about 19 days, we're going to raise some money for The Children's Storefront. And have a laugh! I'm performing Suddenly Mommy!, a funny one woman show about being an old, new mom, at The Second City, on Sunday December 20th at 2pm. $20. http://www.secondcity.com/ for tickets. Please come. You'll laugh and laugh and laugh. And feel really good about yourself for giving to this important cause. A great way to kick off the holiday season! xoxo AMS

Adam Sandler and My Guilty Hand

2009-08-31T21:47:00.001-07:00

I had a crazy dream last night. I dreamt I was discovering a new playground near my house, at the bottom of a steep hill. When I got down there, I passed by the swings and went into a building. It was a fringe festival office (a theatre office). I was dismayed that no one recognized me for my past fringe performance successes. I figured it was because I had kids and it had been a while so I had better get back on the fringe circuit and make a name for myself again. I sat at a table with other performers who were watching TV. I was beside Adam Sandler. He held my hand under the table. I was excited that he liked me and recognized me as a fellow talent, but I was feeling guilty because I was married. How could I hold his hand?! I kept holding it, working through my guilt by trying to figure things out so my husband wouldn’t know. I also felt guilty about being away from the kids. I had meant to come and find a playground for them and here I was, in an entertainment office, with a fellow comic genius. Clearly I felt love for this place of potential, but I was there without consent.
Then the dream morphed into a murder mystery dream… I’m currently in the main cast at Mysteriously Yours theatre… which I am really enjoying… and then Jake, my 2 year old, came and woke me up.
But the dream stayed with me, and I had a chance to write it down. I know what it means too. I have been feeling guilty about having a Hollywood style, successful career because it would clearly be a compromise to my husband and children. There is so much guilt for wanting a film and television career it seems. Don’t get me wrong. The guilt comes from me. No one else is making me feel bad. I’m doing it to myself.
It’s like I should be transferring my career aspirations onto my children, and become a stage mom. Or I should keep my dreams of success to myself and not share them with my husband. I should perhaps go to teacher’s college or join the bank fulltime. And I ask you, how would any of this help?
You know it is evil to have career plans for your child. And my husband knows I’m an actor and writer and that I have big plans. He wants to know and wants to help me succeed. And living a compromised life (not following my bliss) is no example to set for my kids…
Do you know how much my family would benefit from my successful TV and film career? If Adam Sandler has faith in me, then at least I should too. Tomorrow I’m getting my production team together, (my husband and kids) and going over the time lines for the rest of the year.

Suddenly Home and Mommy Again

2009-08-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

Hi there.
So, just to recap, I went to The Winnipeg Fringe to do my new show Suddenly Mommy! And when I say new, I mean, new. As in "hello folks, you are hearing this for the first time..." And I went without my husband and kids! So, it was intense in many ways.

Firstly, when you do The Winnipeg Fringe (just in case you are thinking of taking your show there) it is arguably the best fringe in the world. The reviewers and audiences want to see the show you have been crafting for years. So, I had to really work for it. But I worked. And I worked hard. I opened a good show. But I closed a great show! And it is only going to get better with every run, with every performance, because that's what happens when you create a show. It grows! It gets better! It makes more sense! Just like a baby!

And to address the other point: I went to Winnipeg without my 2 year old, or my 4 year old, or my 10 year old step-daughter or my 41 year old husband. (I'm sure he hates it when I mention his age. Personally, I just turned 30. Again.) But I was away from the children for almost 2 weeks! Putting up a new show in a new city! I didn't even bring a stage manager! Or a director! Or a girl friend! I stayed with three 25 year old girls who were lovely. I went to yoga every other day. I spent my free time working on my show, writing, or working over Skype with my director. (I now know what Skype is! You can video chat on your computer! Who knew!) Or I talked to other mothers who take there one woman shows out into the world!

Third point! There are some fabulous women out there on the fringe circuit who do their solo shows and sell out and are amazing and talented and have kids too! Specifically Rachelle Elie, Colette Kendal and Precious Chong. Then there are other cool women, sans enfants, who gave me oodles of support and feedback around my show! Specifically Susan Jeremy and Sherri Sutton. My show got so much better so fast with help from these stand up comics! Let me put it into perspective: Susan Jeremy has been invited to Just For Laughs not once but twice! And Sherri Sutton opened for Roseanne! And they came to my show, and I went to theirs, and I learned and I grew, and I was in paradise! In a beer tent! In Winnipeg! So happy!

Forth point! My audience included more amazing women. Buffalo Gals came to see me! And so did NSI! And men! Farpoint Films! (These are important names in the world of film and television, so I won't go on). But I had such incredible feedback, not to mention lunch, from great people who saw what I was bringing to the world! A fresh new look at motherhood!

Erica Ehm from Yummy Mummy Club also emailed me to offer sponsorship! Do you see where I am going here! Winnipeg was my creative incubator! I stepped on stage with my bean sprout and I left with a beanstalk to a castle in the sky! (I think I need to go to bed soon...)

But finally, and I will end it here, I could not have had the experience I had if it weren't for my husband. He raised the kids without me for two weeks. He did not complain. (He did go to his mother's for the last, which was a great idea. Gramma and Poppa got to spend lots of time getting to know their grandsons). And suddenly mommy was suddenly free to get some much needed work done on her show. Suddenly, being a mommy is not what it used to be. And that's good. xoxo AMS

2009-06-26T11:53:00.000-07:00

Suddenly Mommy Press Release

2009-06-26T11:41:00.000-07:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: June 22 to July , 2009
Perfectly Norma Productions Proudly Presents
Suddenly Mommy!
She got married and had kids for the glamour and there is no glamour!
Written & Performed by Anne Marie Scheffler Directed by Michael McGinn
The baby’s crying, the toddler’s peeing beside the potty, the step daughter can’t find her shoes and the husband’s leaving for work! How will our heroine ever get the kids out the door and her step-daughter to school when she can’t find her twig lipstick?? Who left Anne Marie in charge??! Second City alumni and star of her own Comedy Special on CTV and The Comedy Network, Anne Marie Scheffler jumps into a new world of funny! Having kids! Sure, she thought that’s what she always wanted, but they’re so much work! It looked so easy in the brochure! A mom and step mom in real life, Scheffler exposes the truth of motherhood in an authentic and hilarious way! A modern Irma Bombeck! She’ll make you feel good about your parenting skills!
AT THE WINNIPEG FRINGE FESTIVAL JULY 2009
Venue#10 Planetarium Auditorium
190 Rupert Ave (theatre on lower level)
Friday, July 17, 3:45 PM
Monday, July 20, 5:30 PM
Wednesday, July 22, 9:00 PM
Thursday, July 23, 2:30 PM
Friday, July 24, 12:00 PM
Saturday, July 25, 7:45 PM
Sunday, July 26, 7:00 PM
$9. Babes in arms permitted.
45 minutes.

http://www.winnipegfringe.com/ http://www.annemariescheffler.com/

Suddenly Mommy! About The Creator... as in Mother

2009-06-26T11:39:00.000-07:00

About the Performer: Suddenly Mommy: Anne Marie Scheffler
Anne Marie Scheffler likes to write about what she knows. “I really did find myself married with children in a blink of an eye. I didn’t find my husband until I was in my mid-thirties, so, there was a bit of a time crunch, procreationally speaking.”
“And becoming a mother? Wow! Who knew it was this overwhelming! I’m still getting my ass kicked as to how demanding these little people can be! And I thought I needed attention! Sheesh!”
Scheffler’s struggle to be a good mother and still remain herself, the theme of the show, is one she faces in real life too. “I was a middle child. I had no opinion of my own! I just wanted to make everybody happy! I blame my parents!” One opinion Scheffler always had was that she would be an actress. “Ever since I was 4 years old, I wanted to be a movie star. I still plan on winning an Oscar. When I am completely exhausted and frazzled, usually begging the boys to go to sleep already, rubbing Jake’s back in the dark, I close my eyes and rehearse the acceptance speech. And it always helps.”
“I also want a Golden Globe award. For my TV series which I write and star in. Just like Tina Fey.” Not that far-fetched a vision, as Scheffler is a known-quantity in the world of Canadian Television. She began her acting career with a recurring role on Street Legal, and has been making a living on film, radio and television ever since. She has a long list of TV credits including Due South, Queer as Folk and Doc. She has done over 30 commercials for TV and radio, Canadian and US, and is currently the voice of Milestone’s restaurant. She writes for television, is an alumni of the National Screen Institute’s Totally Television Program, and was just honoured with a CTV Fellowship which took her to the Banff World Television Festival. And she has a one hour Comedy Now! special on The Comedy Network.
Plus she has a TV series in development with Buffalo Gals, and intends on having the TV version of Suddenly Mommy to go into development by the fall.
And she’s a mom, step mom, and wife. “It’s not like I’m Suzy Homemaker or anything. My husband is a chef, so I don’t have to cook. I think it’s a case of he’s so good and I’m so bad that everyone prefers daddy’s food, so that’s good for me! Plus, my husband complains about my cleaning skills- or lack thereof.” She recalls a time when she asked her husband if they owned a mop. “Dave just dropped his head in despair. Shaking his head disappointedly. So I never mop! But I have other skills! Mostly on stage type skills, but that’s something!”
And Scheffler loves being on stage. She has 6 critically acclaimed one woman shows under her belt, including Situation: NORMA, Watch Norma’s Back, Leaving Norma, Dating Myself, Not Getting it and Got it Good. She is a Second City alumni and performs regularly at Mysteriously Yours. She was nominated for a Canadian Comedy Award, and scouted by HBO twice.
“I’m a better performer now that I’ve had my kids! Maybe my boys, with their short attention spans, force me to be incredibly entertaining on a day to day basis, so I’m a comic genius on stage. And I thought my life was over. ” It seems to be just beginning. With her 2yr old and 4 yr old sons and 10 yr old step daughter, she has about 20 years of comedy gold to mine.

Suddenly Mommy! The Show

2009-06-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

About The Show: Suddenly Mommy
The idea for the TV series came first. That was two years ago. Then a year ago, Scheffler begin writing the Suddenly Mommy blog. Now, the live show. “Usually, it’s the other way around!” Scheffler laughs. Known for her 6 previous one woman shows, Scheffler is a familiar face in the fringe world and the television world. Her first show, Situation NORMA, which debuted in 1994, got her a better TV agent and she booked an episode of Forever Knight immediately. Her second show, Watch Norma’s Back!, had reviewers suggesting her character Norma should have her own TV series. HBO scouted her from both of these show. Besides her numerous TV credits, she was hired by Second City, was nominated for a Canadian Comedy Award, does lots of radio and TV commercials (she’s the voice of Milestones Restaurant), and her fifth show, Not Getting It, was made into a one hour comedy special.
“When Not Getting It became a comedy special on CTV and The Comedy Network, the TV series was an easy sell.” Scheffler won a spot in the National Screen Institute’s Totally Television Program to take Not Getting It from the stage to the small screen. “I was on the brink of having my own TV series. But I needed to pause and have my kids first.” One step-daughter and two babies later, Scheffler returned to the world of television development.
“I was pregnant with my second child, and met Christine Tyson, a firey single mom and producer, who worked at Shaftesbury. She wanted to develop a TV series with me. At the time I was a writer on a TV series, Out There, and my comedy special was a great calling card for my funny female voice,” Scheffler recalls. “Plus my kids loved her kids.” Soon Tyson and Scheffler created Irma Inspired, which is currently in development with Buffalo Gals.
But why have one show when you can have two? “Irma Inspired is about the single thirty-something woman with no kids of her own. That was me in “Not Getting It.” It’s a period of my life I could write about forever. But now there was another show I could write about. I was biking home from an audition, and I was wondering what a TV series based on my current situation would look like. You know, a funny actress who finally found herself, then had kids, and all that self work went down the toilet. I wasn’t very fast. I had a long time to pedal and dream. By the time I got home to the babysitter, I had the pilot episode mapped out in my head.”
She outlined the pilot and sent it to her writing agent, who loved it, being a single working mom herself. In the meantime, Scheffler began the Suddenly Mommy blog. “My birthday horoscope said that I should start blogging. I was already doing stand up about funny mommy stuff, so I figured I could blog about it too. I have lots of fun blogging about my boys, about how they treat me worse than some guys I’ve dated, and how if they were my boyfriends I’d break up with them. My blogs go out on Erica Ehm’s yummymummyclub e-newletter. She says I’m one of her most popular contributors.”
And then, Scheffler, (a Leo, btw), won a CTV Fellowship to The Banff World Television Festival. “I knew I needed to get in front of the broadcasters again. I also wanted to meet Kari Lizer, the creator of The New Adventures of Old Christine, who would be speaking about her show. Here I am, sleep deprived, with two boys who won’t listen to me, and a husband who was working doubles, expecting to be at Banff. When I got my parents to agree to watch the boys for 5 days, I knew it would happen.”
She won with the Suddenly Mommy TV series concept. She fleshed out the original outline to include three more leads. “I call it Sex and the City with Mommies.” She also got high marks for being multi-platformed. “It’s the new buzz word. I have the blog, the TV show and the live show. It was incredible to say “and I’ll be performing next month at The Winnipeg Fringe. It made the TV series more real. Plus, everyone seems to be from Winnipeg!” (Including CTV’s Robert Hardy, and HBO’s Gavin Wise).
And how was Kari Lizer? “She was speaking my language. She started off as a TV commercial actress then wrote a one woman show. She got offers to write for TV. Soon she was juggling a family with two pilots in development. So, it’s okay for me to have two shows on the go. That was reassuring.”
Creating film and television based on live material is an excellent formula for success. It clearly worked for Winnipeg Native Nia Vardalos of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” fame. Scheffler interviewed her recently. “I just wrote an article for the ACTRA National magazine about women in comedy and Nia, who is an inspiration to me, offered this advice. “Don’t wait for the phone to ring with an offer of a job- call yourself.””
According to Scheffler, doing the fringe this year is about calling herself. “It wasn’t easy to turn to my husband and say – “Look, I know we have little kids and variable incomes, but I want to go to Winnipeg for two weeks in July and do a fringe show. There’s no guarantee of money, but based on my prior work, I think this would be a great idea.”” She lives in Toronto with her chef husband and her sons, Nathan, 4 and Jake, 2. Her step-daughter Mackenna, 10, is with them every other weekend and for long periods in the summer and March Break. “I proposed Winnipeg as a great family vacation!” So far it looks like she’s heading to The ‘Peg on her own. But Scheffler is planning on hitting the fringe hard and really enjoying her time doing what she loves best.
“I’ve done 6 fringe shows and toured North America with them. I love the format. I love performing live. I get to be funny, with heart. I was in the live studio audience of a taping of Everybody Loves Raymond, and the penny dropped. What they are doing on the sound stage is what I am doing on the fringe stage. If the goal is to have my own TV show, then doing the fringe is a good idea.”
Can being away from her family for 2 weeks be a good idea? The irony is that her show is all about being overrun by her children. “My husband will be exhausted by the time I get back. He’s a hero.” Scheffler will also be shooting Irma Inspired in Winnipeg. “When I got into the fringe, I took it as a sign from above that I need to get to know this city. I’m freaked out about being away from the kids for so long. What kind of mother am I? But then I was picking up Nathan from Junior Kindergarten and I spoke with another parent who is also an actor. I told him that I was heading to Winnipeg for the Fringe. “I’m jealous,” he said. Seems to me that Winnipeg is the place to be.”
Especially if suddenly, mommy ends up with a TV show. Or two. “I have boys. Apparently hockey is in my future. I’m doing it for the team!”

A Man of Attitude, A Mom of Oblivion

2009-06-22T21:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, it comes down to, going the easiest route possible. Wait. It always comes down to the easiest route possible. I just want to get through the day happy. Smiling. Easy. But if you don't give the kid some structure, he does things, like pour his milk into his jello, which spills over the bowl and onto him, and he looks at you with a "how could you let this happen to me?" face. And so the bathing and cleaning begins.

I see that there is wisdom in stopping the mess before it happens. Less cleaning for me. But I want to let him experiment. Explore this abundant universe. (Abundant in toys, not so abundant in sleep). But it also requires work on my part to stop him...

And I get so tired...

So the jello and the milk get everywhere and I'll clean it in the morning... or when he's 18. I just want to enjoy that 2 year old as much as possible! Could it be I am simply making it impossible for him to ever get married? Because there is no one in the world who would let him get away with what I let him get away with? Still, my relationships with the men in my life, continue to be challenging! More later! AMS

Child Played

2009-04-30T19:57:00.001-07:00

This is how my children play. “Want to jump on me, Jakey?” says my four year old to my two year old. “Yes,” says the cutest wrestler there ever was. And so, to others what looks like fighting, is really playing. Because they’re boys? Perhaps. Because I want them to sit at the table and finish their ham sandwiches? For sure. Playing well with each other usually occurs when they are supposed to be doing something else: eating, leaving the house, crossing the road. And don’t think I’m just a spectator. When Jakey is down for a nap, Nathan asks me to play with him. “Let’s fight, Mommy.” I tell him no, I suggest other games, I offer him TV, my computer, chocolate, but nothing gives. He wants to spar and he wants to spar now. So, there I am, wrestling my 4 year old to the ground. I don’t know why this is so wonderful and even funny to him, but it is. And for me- it feels pretty good too. For the first 2 minutes. But he wants me to play forever. Mercifully, it usually ends soon enough with one of us crying because of an accidental finger to the eye.
I tried to outwit my boys in the backyard the other day. “Who wants to play pick up the pine cones with me?” I shouted enthusiastically. “I do!” they both yelled, and off we went, collecting about 400 to 800 pine cones (I’m guessing here… let’s say a lot) in two large pails. I felt like a hero, as smart as Tom Sawyer, when the ultimate twist came. “Yay! Let’s do it again!” And Nathan whipped those pine cones to all corners of the earth. At least, before my craftiness, the offending pine cones were under the pine tree and a bit to the left. Now, those pine cones were every freaking where.
And they always have to win. I can’t walk down the stairs first, leave the house first, or get my dessert first. Some child of mine is pushing past me to victory. It can be annoying, especially those mornings when I am almost at the bottom of the stairs, so close to my coffee, and Nathan is yelling from his top bunk “Stop Mommy! I’m coming! And I’m going to beat you!” As sleep deprived as I am, I see that he gives me a gift. The reminder that life is a game, so just have fun. And we do. Hand slapping at the table, playing with empty boxes, rolling the cork from the wine bottle at dinner. We’re always playing.(And drinking apparently..!) And I look at those little champions, demanding rematch after rematch, and I smile, knowing that I have already won.

If This Were a Comedy Club....

2009-03-01T20:20:00.000-08:00

Funny Mummy Musings.
Track pants.
You know those track pants? The pair that someone gave you in a bag of maternity clothes? They’re grey and comfy, size XL, maternity pants and you held them against you in your first trimester and made some joke about having the whole family wear them at the same time? You tossed them aside, just in case that baby got really really big in the 39th week, and they fit you perfectly… now… that your bundle of joy… has just started grade one? Yah. Those track pants. I love mine too!
Weaning.
I’m issuing a press release. I finally weaned my son! He’s two! He’s speaking! He was saying sentences like “more milk mommy” so it was clear that it was time! I’m free! I can wear a dress again for the first time in forever! I don’t have to worry about hiking a dress over my head because Jakey wants to nurse! I can tuck my shirts in again! I don’t have to wear bras that open at the front with emergency exits for my nipples! I don’t have to stick to wearing the sweater with the slits on the front, so I can reach in and pull out a drink or two for my son! I’m free! To be fashionable! I no longer have to dress in a way that makes my boobs accessible. Of course, now, I’m back in my push up bra and low neck sweaters. What are you gonna do?
Character Names.
I’m raising a genius, just like you are. I can’t fool my son with the wrong names… like I’m reading Arthur to him one time. Nathan’s four, so he can’t read… yet. I’m tired, so I just want to whip through the book. Instead of actually reading the words on the page, I’m looking at the picture and paraphrasing. Nathan immediately catches on. “You mean Arthur and D.W. were looking for Muffy. And who’s Blinky?” You really can’t just make up crap. The kids are experts, and if it’s a kid’s TV show or a movie- those marketing people are geniuses. I’m pretty sure Jake’s first words were “Cars!” “Doc!” One time, I was reading a Disney Pixar Cars book to Jake, who’s barely two, and I tried the old paraphrasing method, and I called Mater the Tow Truck, Rusty. Jake just started screaming. Character names are sacred. If I’m really tired, I’ll just skimp on house cleaning, or preparing nutritious meals. Don’t mess with the character names. Now where’s that box of macaroni and cheese?
What Mommy is Really Thinking About When Watching Treehouse TV.
Anthony. Of the Wiggles. Enough said.
Other People’s Kids.I was picking my son up from JK when one of his cute little classmates asked me if I was going to have another baby? No, I said. I immediately decided to retire the lumpy sweater I was wearing. I took Nathan from school to a drop in. I removed the offending sweater, wearing a slim fitting turtle neck underneath. Another little girl approached me and asked “Are you having a baby?””Why do you ask?” “Because it looks like you have a baby in there.” You know, they just don’t make turtle necks well these days.

All the world's a petri dish

2009-02-08T21:05:00.000-08:00

It’s been four years and two babies but I’m getting back on stage with my show. It’s a comedy, very Sex and The City, one woman, lots of lines, gotta look good, do a really good job, can’t phone it in show. I have 9 days until I go on, and my kids have been sick. I was going to spend all this extra time working on my lines, and of course, going to yoga every single day until the show to show the world “I still got it!” Ah, but I’ll be lucky if I shave my legs.
I guess it’s the weather. Or the fact that Nathan is in JK, and I’ve taken Jake to a couple of drop ins, and now both children have a fever. I haven’t been sleeping well, because I’m up with Jake. His nose is snotty and when he has trouble breathing he wakes up crying for me. So I slip myself into his bottom bunk and lay with him until he falls asleep. And then I spend a few torturous moments devising my escape- how to squeeze out of the bottom bunk without waking up either boy. And it just re-enforces my need to get to yoga. Sleek like a cat. Dave brought home some photos today. He took a roll of film out of his camera and wanted to see what was on it. Pictures from the summer. My birthday on the beach. I had quite the shock. I have a vision of me in my head- and what I must look like in a bikini. And then there’s the photos. I look like a nice barbeque chicken with a lot of extra meat. I’m not fat. I’m healthy. I’d be a good meal.
But back to my illustrious acting career. When Nathan was born, I was booking all my auditions. I think I walked into the audition room different from “before baby.” When I was just a regular person (ha!) I’d walk into that audition all ready and willing to please. When I became a new mom, I’d walk into that audition room with a real sense of purpose. Like “I have to go breast feed, did you want to hire me, yes or no?” It was like I flipped a switch, and became important, and had somewhere more important to be (with my newborn) and so everyone thought I was important too and wanted to hire me.
So, really, having children hasn’t stopped me from being a working mother. It has made me appreciate working more. Like a little vacation from my children. But I don’t want to have an understudy for my real role- as mommy. As I lay beside Jake and his snuffly nose, I realize that he is one of my greatest creations. He’s my audience. He’s my director. He’s my playwright. He’s my real work of art. And that snotty nose? Just a hack trying to crash an audition...

Take the "me" out of Bedtime!

2009-01-28T13:36:00.000-08:00

Do you know where I am right now? I don’t want to tell you. I’m at a bar. It’s 6 30pm and I finished my corporate acting gig at 6, and instead of going home, I came here to a bar. And I’m drinking a beer. And I ordered a hamburger. Rare.
This is not like me. Listen, it’s not like the kids are home alone. Dave had to go to work for 5pm so we got the fabulous, amazing 25 year old babysitter to come for 4:30. And if I got home at 6 30, that would barely be worth her while. I want her to make a bit of money, so I figured I’d come here and write and get some me time. Okay, there’s a bigger reason. I want Maryjoy to put the kids to bed.
It takes soooooo long for me to put the kids to bed. Dave can do it in 30 minutes or less. A babysitter? They take one look at her and put themselves to bed. Me? It’s like a crime that they should be forced to sleep at all. It’s like I’m asking them to go to jail. Without a phone call. I’d like to take the "time" out of bedtime. And, actually, take the "me" out of it, too. 'Bedtime boys, say goodnight to me… me who is going downstairs to watch 30 Rock, finish the dishes (okay, we don’t have a dishwasher… yet.. what?!) and get at least two hours of doing whatever the hell I want and need to do'. But no. Bedtime with me and the boys starts at 7pm and ends somewhere between 10 and 10:30pm when they have finally given in and fallen asleep after about 2 hours of manipulating me from the bottom bunk to the top bunk to sleep beside one or the other.
I know I am an enabler. I was the one who had them in the bed when they were babies, respectively. And I am still the enabler, because I will lay down with Jake, then Nathan, then Jake, then Nathan, up and down the bunk like a servant. If they were my employers, I'd quit. Which I felt like I did tonight. I may be in a bar, but don’t think my Catholic guilt isn’t killing me. I might need another beer to keep me from going home before they have fallen asleep. Go Maryjoy!

Yummy Mummy Club

2009-01-28T13:28:00.000-08:00

Another mom sent me the link to the yummy mummy club website. It's fabulous, has great contests, and is even publishing a funny article I wrote. (Okay, you may have read the same article here, but still!) Please join www.yummymummyclub.com You'll love it!

Mommy Loves The Boys

2009-01-26T07:04:00.000-08:00

So, I'm married with kids now. My Sex and The City lifestyle days are behind me. No more bad relationships with immature guys. Wait. Did I mention I have two sons? Did you know that my two year old Jake and my 4 year old Nathan aren't that different from some guys I've dated? It's so unfair, because I did the whole "please a man and lose myself" thing and I thought I learned from it. But here I am, repeating old, self-sabotaging patterns with my boys. Well, the first step is recognizing I have a problem. Er, problems…

Here’s one problem I have. I tend to give in to my boys, because I want them to like me. What? I know! I'm their mom! They'll like me even if I make them do chores every day of their life. But I'm such a sucker for a cute guy, I'm all "Alright, have another cookie" because I don't want to be the heavy. Then Nathan has too much sugar, then he crashes, then he’s miserable and cranky. And I’m reminded of the time I lent my Freud’s Interpretation of Dreams to that cute guy and never got the book back. That “I should have known better” feeling. Note to self number 1. Have a back bone, even if it means some guy won’t like it.

Here’s another problem: I tend to put them first all, all, all the time. I need to go to yoga. I must go to yoga. Nathan and Jake want me all the time. I tell them the sitter is coming so Mommy can go to yoga. They cry. I don't call the sitter. I don't go to yoga. I burn out. I yell at the kids. If they were my boyfriend, I'd break up with them. Note to self number 2. Put myself first. At least some of the time. Like at yoga time.

My worst problem: I tend to change myself for the man. Why do I do this? When I was dating and it never worked. I would morph into the supergirl I thought the guy wanted me to be. Which I couldn’t keep up for very long, so we’d break up. Now with my little guys, I love them so much, so I am this supermom who never says no. And then I can’t take it anymore and I snap. Things like sleeping beside Nathan until he falls asleep, which I am convinced makes him stay awake longer. It only makes me more anxious because I have things to do. Or my never ending nursing of Jake. If I left it up to him, he’d be weaned after graduation. No! Mommy has to go to yoga! Get your hands out of my shirt! I love you but I love me more! (Quote from Samantha in Sex and The City). So yes, I admit I’m still relationship challenged. But with a little bit of backbone, and a lot of yoga (which is all about strengthening the spine… I see the connection), I am sure I can keep the bad boys addiction behind me… and raise good boys who treat women really,really well.

You're a Good Mom, Charlie Brown

2008-11-17T20:34:00.000-08:00

I have three shows this week. Normally, I book a sitter for Monday night so I can go to my Monday Night Acting Group. It’s so good for me- actor turned mother who fears losing her identity since the arrival of her two beautiful dependents- to get out and do scenes with the other professional actors, weekly. But since I have three shows this week, I figured I’d skip Monday night tonight, and spare the sitter. The boys will have her for 3 nights. Let’s not make it four. And so it was me putting the boys to bed. As, in a perfect world, I want to always do. But it wasn’t so simple.
Tonight, Nathan did not want to wear any of the pajamas in his drawer. His favourite pajamas are probably still in the dryer and I simply told him to choose a pair from his drawer. He’s 4. He can do that. Jake, on the other hand, missed the window of opportunity to go down naturally, and was now overtired and when I put him to bed, he screamed for me… which was particularly hard to take, since Nathan was still not willing to put pajamas on and I wasn’t going back in to comfort Jake until Nathan was dealt with. (I know the books say to let them cry themselves to sleep, which I find hard to do. But then they learn to fall asleep on their own. But in other countries, babies sleep with their parents until they’re 3 or something like that, so I usually end up waiting until Jake is completely asleep before leaving his room).
Long story short, I yelled at Nathan. After I begged, pleaded, joked, played and counted to three about three times. Like, I really yelled at him to pick some pajamas and put them on. He still refused so I told him, fine, see you in the morning. I told Jake to go to sleep. I went downstairs. Nathan followed. I sent him back upstairs. He refused. I threatened to put him outside (terrible, I know). I went back upstairs and to my room. Nathan waited in the hall. I read a book. Nathan cried. I calmed myself down and went to him. He agreed to put on the Charlie Brown pajamas. Still angry, I scolded him for being so unreasonable (he’s 4… what am I thinking?) and I told him he would get no stories since it was by now 9 o’clock and too late for stories. I went to get Jake. I went back to Nathan’s room and told Nathan that I would read Jake and Nathan one story only. But from now on, Nathan was to listen to Mommy. Put on his pajamas when I told him to. (Was that it? The thing that made me so angry? I’m still upset). Nathan agreed and the three of us read a story. I told Nathan I loved him. He seemed good. Then he said: “Mommy, sometimes I’m mad at myself.” I guess he was regretting some of his actions. I told him I knew what he meant. And that I sometimes get mad at myself too. Sheesh. Like when I’m impatient and yelly. It’s been a long time since I’ve been so yelly. It’s because I have been going to Monday night acting group and it’s a good balance for me. But I didn’t go. And I didn’t go to yoga recently either. But I did kiss Nathan extra tonight, and I did tell him I was sorry.
So, was it a good thing I stayed home and put the kids to bed myself? Yes and no. No because I really lost it on Nathan, but yes because I am showing him I am serious and must be listened to. When I went to my room to calm down, I picked up a self-help book (I always have one on my bedside it seems, since beginning this whole parenting thing) and read that if you tell your children that you love them, that’s a good thing. So, I feel better. Now back to reading the other self-help book, on women reclaiming their identities after marriage and children. You see why a girl like me needs to get out…

I Am Not My House

2008-11-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

Ugh. I need to clean this place. Specifically do the dishes. Both boys are remarkable down for a nap at the same time. It’s just after lunch, and since everyone has a bit of a flu-ish stomach, lunch was half a bagel and some apple juice. Easy. And easy to convince the boys to nap today. We’re all feeling a bit yucky. I look around at what needs to be done, in the quiet of the nap time, and I am overwhelmed. But then a light thought comes into my head: I want to make a goal collage. And hang it over the couch. I know it seems a simple thought. And that’s what I need: simple. But I have been racking my brain to find the best piece of art to hang over the couch for a while now, and it’s stressing me out.
I think I am complicating things. I had been a renter for so long, that now, a home owner, I think I have to live in a perfect house with perfect decor, to maintain the value of the property. But, then I become precious about this house, and I sweat the small stuff, and I lie in bed worrying about the framed pictures and where to hang them. And then I look at myself in the mirror, and I sweat the small stuff with me, not just enjoying my good health and fabulous functioning. Lord, I am back to my pre-baby weight (sort of re-distributed, but I am back at yoga, and feeling fit) and I can carry around about 70 pounds of children at once, Nathan being about 40 pounds, and Jake weighing in at 30. Like this house, I’ve got good bones. God, I need to loosen up a bit! And the thought of a goal collage, with a dog, and a cottage and an Oscar Award, and a tropical vacation, all Elmer-glued to a big, purple piece of Bristol board, made me laugh. It made me relax. It made me happy. That’s what owning a home should do: make one happy. Not make one panic. I’m done with panic. I’m up with happy.
I read somewhere recently that our house reflects our inner thoughts. Ugh. Again, too much pressure. I give you that there is some wisdom there. I know that since my children were born and since my husband and I decided we needed to buy a house to give security to our children’s future (this is what happens when you have children… you are a bad parent unless you own your home) my inner thoughts have been a bit scattered. I want to simplify my inner thoughts. Just be happy. I want to simplify my home. Just be homey. The money will come to pay to mortgage just as the air comes for me to breathe.
I am not my house. I suppose I am and I am not. I am my children and I am not my children. I guess I decide. For instance, the moment the idea of the flu was uttered outside of Nathan’s kindergarten class yesterday, I empathetically watched him for any flu-like signs. And then when he got a fever, I immediately felt flu-like myself. I mean, I could lay down. Maybe I should lay down. But I want to get to that goal collage first. Just slap up a sign of happiness, like throwing on a bit of blush. And the dishes? I trust that they will eventually get done.
Thank you, God and The Universe, for this home, and for my health. I bless my healing and the children’s healing. And I give myself permission to love this house in whatever state it is in. But could you send us new windows and doors soon? (Did I mention we bought a fixer-upper?) Thank you! Maybe I need to add those windows and doors to the goal collage too!

Audition: Slave Girl to Past Lives

2008-11-03T19:03:00.000-08:00

I said I’d start blogging. Well, that’s what my horoscope suggested I do. “If you don’t write your own blog already, start one now.” I’d hate to go against the stars. So I’m blogging. And what am I to blog about? My kids. Because they ‘re small, and they have taken over my life, and I worked really hard to find myself, and now, I think I’m lost again. And it’s because of the kids.
It’s like this. I’m in my late thirties (pretty late, don't tell the casting directors) and Nathan just turned 4 and Jake will be 2 soon. Mackenna, my step-daughter is 9 and a half, and is primarily with her mom. When she is with us she is a pleasure, but she’s a kid, too, so add some more time and emotional demands to the pot. I’m an actress. And a writer. I perform because I need lots of attention. It took me years and years to get to where I wanted to be career-wise, and I don’t want to let it completely slip because I had a family. But it’s hard. I go from obsessing over the audition for that new TV series, and then wondering if it’s okay for me to be gone for a week to shoot the pilot or if that would be a sign of a bad mother, to simply thinking only about the children, and then getting resentful at the end of the day when I have done nothing but food preparation, feeding and clean-up, carrying, nursing, soothing and reading, playing outside, and inside and on the computer and being patient with self-centred little boys.
In my attempt to retain myself, I have re-ignited my spiritual quest. I stumbled upon 10 cassette tapes by Joseph Campbell at Value Village today, as I was dropping off the high chair. Clearly a sign that the Universe is supporting my journey. I have begun reading books about past-lives, and this is an Earth school, and I got my palm read and apparently I’m meant to help people. My boys don’t like to fall asleep without me, so bed time is a long and delicate process. As I was cuddling with Nathan, waiting for him to fall asleep, I had this flash of Nathan and Jake being my captors in a previous life. You know, like I was some beautiful slave, and they owned me, and loved me, but wouldn’t give me my freedom. (Remember the slave girl and the master in Cecil B. DeMille’s The Ten Commandments?) Funny how lifetime after lifetime, I’m still being held captive by them. So, if the palm reader says I’m to help people, it’s clear that I should start by helping myself.
I’m going to start blogging. About suddenly being a Mommy. It really is so miraculous to have children, and everything else falls away as less important than these beautiful creations of mine. But it’s good for them too, to see me at my best, successful and self-assured, balanced and fit. I’m going back to yoga regularly. And I’m not going to feel guilty about it. And I allow myself to earn gobs of money doing what I love. Even if I have to be away from the boys for a 12 hour day once in a while to do it. They’ll survive. I love them so completely, but if I don’t love myself FIRST, then I’m not doing anyone any favours.
The beginning of that horoscope said “If today is your birthday: The coming year won't be quite like any other. Your dearest wishes, highest hopes and brightest visions will edge slowly but surely toward glorious fulfilment.” I’d better get ready. Cuz this ain't no dress-rehearsal...

Suddenly Blogging

2008-10-23T20:24:00.000-07:00

Hi there:
So, I'm finally an adult. With husband, kids and house. It happened so fast. I'm just starting to figure out that I'm in charge. Well, I'm supposed to be, anyway.